


Black Balls (or "99 Problems")

by dewekbwankies (suicidalzombie)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 02:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicidalzombie/pseuds/dewekbwankies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles has 99 problems and one of them is Isaac Lahey, and his inability to listen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Balls (or "99 Problems")

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ionsquare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionsquare/gifts).



> For @[ionsquare](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ionsquare/works) who inspired this unintentionally by [this Twitter conversation](https://twitter.com/maraudered/status/427262368926531584), where I clearly do not know how to read.

Stiles has 99 problems and one of them is Isaac Lahey, the second is that he’s being forced to spend the afternoon - a whole five hours - with him, as part of a unanimous decision between Scott, Lydia and Allison. They’re sick of the tension between the two and figured they could at least try to work it out. The other ninety seven involve surly werewolves, unrequited love and other things Stiles doesn’t want to think about right now.

Isaac complains just as much as Stiles does but in the end they’re on the couch at Scott’s place, and they can at least agree on one thing: if they’re being forced to co-exist peacefully, maybe something should be done about Scott’s feelings towards Isaac liking Allison.

That topic alone took up the first hour, but then they lapsed into silence and made a grab for the remote control at the same time. Isaac wins due to having faster reflexes than Stiles and the latter sits back with his arms crossed, watching as Isaac pulls up Netflix.

It’s weird to see Scott’s Netflix queue, since he hasn’t been over to hang out and have best friend time in awhile. There’s all sorts of shows Stiles never would’ve thought Scott was into, though he snorts at seeing ‘Orange is the New Black’ in there.

“I doubt there are any _General Hospital_ re-runs on there,” Stiles says finally, earning a look of confusion from Isaac. “ _General Hospital_ ,” Stiles says impatiently. “The soap opera that probably has more season than _The Simpsons_?”

Isaac’s look of confusion turns into one of amusement. Devilish amusement. “Since when do you watch daytime TV?” he asked, dropping the remote on the couch and pulling his cell phone from his pocket. He started a group chat with Lydia, Scott and Allison shortly after being banished to Scott’s place with Stiles, as a way to keep them updated on the progress (or lack thereof). Now, it would serve as grounds to embarrass Stiles.

`_he watches soap operas, kill me._`

“Since I had a lot of sick days when I was a kid,” Stiles shoots back, snatching up the remote and going through to start searching for a new show to watch, something Isaac couldn’t mock him for and that might pass the time more quickly.

Isaac’s phone vibrated a few seconds later and he checked the screen, still smirking. “Scott says you’re not allowed to watch crappy daytime TV and if you do, he’s revoking your best friend status,” Isaac announced.

Stiles wanted to say something snarky in response but he didn’t. He would text Scott later and call him a traitor, but for now he settled with ignoring Isaac as he scrolled through what Netflix had to offer.

* * *

There wasn’t anything really stopping Stiles from getting into his Jeep and going home, just like there wasn’t anything stopping Isaac from going off and doing whatever it was he did when he wasn’t hanging around Scott’s place (Allison was out with Lydia, so maybe that’s why he was still here).

There’s a few shows Isaac watches Stiles scroll past but he doesn’t feel like another argument so he keeps quiet, up until he sees one that he’s never heard of. The title card is interesting so he sends a text off to what he thinks is Scott but actually is Stiles’ cell. His phone had suggested ‘Stiles’ over ‘Scott’, and he doesn’t realise until Stiles’ phone goes off and he’s given a funny look.

“Why the hell do you want to watch something called _Black Balls_?” Stiles asks, misreading the text completely and it takes everything for Isaac not to laugh aloud.

Instead, he reaches for the remote in Stiles’ hand, flipping back a few shows until he has the one he texted about, highlighted. “Black _Sails_ , Stiles. Learn to read.”

For a few moments Stiles does that weird gawking thing of his, clearly embarrassed and Isaac can’t help but make the situation worse for him. With the remote still in hand, he switches from Netflix to one of the fuzzy porn channels and sets the remote control down beside Stiles.

“I’m sure there’s something on here to help with your _black balls_ ,” he teases as he gets up, grabbing his jacket and pulling it on. Two hours and he’s done. He would rather spend the next three hours in the company of Peter Hale while locked in a freezer than sit around here any longer. Stiles’ makes him edgy and he doesn’t like it.

“Fuck you,” Stiles manages to say, only once Isaac has left the house, leaving him alone on the couch with fuzzy porn on the TV, it’s audio choppy. “Fuck you,” he repeats, turning the TV off and tossing the remote down with his phone.

Stiles has 99 problems and maybe some of them are his lack of sex, and the fact that he’s still a virgin - something that comes up too much for his liking.

It gives him an idea and he picks his phone back up, texting Scott this time.

`_Plan aborted. Isaac took off. What would you do if I hired a hooker for the next three hours?_`

It’s a joke, kind of, and Stiles has to laugh at Scott’s next response.

`_not at my house!!! dude my mom sometimes falls asleep on that couch!_`

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't list Stiles and Isaac under relationships since there isn't anything 'shippy in here, but if you'd prefer that let me know.
> 
> Also, feel free to follow me on [Tumblr](http://nixyrumancek.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](http://twitter.com/lycanthrosexual), I don't bite <3


End file.
